


No Soul to Keep

by malevolentmango



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Angst, Death, Grief/Mourning, Heavy Angst, M/M, Memories, Touch-Starved Kravitz
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-03
Updated: 2018-02-03
Packaged: 2019-03-13 08:06:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,365
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13566360
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/malevolentmango/pseuds/malevolentmango
Summary: Kravitz does not, as a general rule, grieve. Grief is for the living, and he has not been that in a very long time.What he's feeling, he thinks, must just be empathy for the grief of his living friends. There's no other explanation.





	No Soul to Keep

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this in two days because the TAZ Fic Writers Discord is a bunch of enablers and angst goblins, so it's entirely their fault.
> 
> The title is from the Foo Fighters' "Make It Right" because I listened to the Concrete and Gold album on repeat while writing the last half of this monster.

Despite all odds and quirks of nature, Carey and Killian die within a few months of each other.

 

Normally, Kravitz might have suspected some foul play. Orcs just don't live that long, and Carey could have easily had several more years in the Prime Material Plane before joining her wife in the Soul Sea.

 

But that is simply the way of it, he thinks, in this case. Killian fought for every inch of life until she had nothing left; Carey slipped away after her, like a thief making off with a precious jewel in the dead of night. It makes a certain sort of sense that everyone who took up arms on the Day of Story and Song would never just pass into the Astral Plane in the normal way.

 

> _It's a Bureau of Balance-now-Benevolence reunion, and Carey and Killian are laughing at Taako's antics as he describes all the mishaps of the first leg of his newly-revived Sizzle It Up tour. Killian turns to him and says, “I bet he was hell to deal with after all that! Believe me, I know a thing or two about that.”_

 

So it's fine. Magnus is understandably distraught, but they're sent off in style. They only stay for a few days at Julia's house before moving on - just so Carey can meet her best friend’s wife, to know the person who shaped him into the man she was so fond of.

 

Kravitz does not, as a general rule, grieve. Grief is for the living, and he has not been that in a very long time.

 

> _Kravitz just smirks. He nudges Taako's foot under the table as he says, “No more so than usual,” to the renewed laughter of Carey and Killian. Carey throws an arm around his shoulders and stage whispers a request for more dirt on Taako, leaving his boyfriend sputtering indignantly. She is hot like the fire in her lungs, and he finds himself leaning closer without realizing it._

 

What he's feeling, he thinks, must just be empathy for the grief of his living friends. There's no other explanation.

 

~~~

 

There are others, of course, because that is how the cycle flows. He knows better than anyone but his Queen herself that what is inevitable will always come to pass.

 

Avi dies suddenly, and his friends scream “Too soon,” but accidents are accidents and death is death. He goes peacefully to the Soul Sea without stopping, following the distant notes of an old, familiar melody.

 

> _He’s at yet another party, and Kravitz is still not used to quite so much exposure to the living all at once. He sneaks away when he needs to, in this case outside to the porch, just to clear his head. Avi is already there, leaning back against the railing. He offers Kravitz his flask, but doesn't take a drink himself when Kravitz hands it back after a few grateful swallows. “Trying to quit,” he says with a smile. He pats Kravitz on the shoulder before heading back inside, and warmth spreads from the places where his fingertips rested. “See you in there.”_

 

~~~

 

When Magnus dies, all hell breaks loose. Which is not a phrase Kravitz uses lightly after dealing with Legion all those years ago.

 

Despite his age and his failing health and his jokes that he lasted a lot longer than he should have anyway, all things considered, no one is quite prepared for it when he's actually gone.

 

> _“Kravitz!” Magnus Burnsides shouts, standing amidst the ruins of a crystallized laboratory. His eyes burn with pain and love and determination, and Kravitz wonders how one person can feel so many things all at once, when all he ever knows is a heady cocktail of alternating anger and satisfaction. “Tell Julia I said I love her.”_

 

Taako is eerily silent when Kravitz returns from escorting Magnus to Julia's house. Kravitz almost thinks he isn't there, even though everyone else is gathered in Magnus’s kitchen, talking quietly, holding each other, saying nothing of the tears that fall freely from their eyes. Lup points to the far wall, to the guest room on the other side. There's a clear instruction in her eyes that says: _Bring him back._

 

Taako is flopped across the mattress, uncaring of the mussed sheets he leaves behind. He acknowledges Kravitz’s presence by the way his ear flicks in the direction of the door, but he doesn't say anything. Kravitz sits on the edge of the bed.

 

> _“Hey, Krav!” Magnus shouts in his ear from behind, startling him from his reading. Magnus laughs and throws both arms over Kravitz's shoulders, leaning heavily against him where he sits in a lawn chair under their transmuted beach umbrella. “Check this out! You don't wanna miss it, trust me.”  
>  _
> 
>  

> _He's right. Taako surfing is definitely not something he wants to miss._
> 
>  
> 
> _Magnus is heavy and sun-warmed against his back. Kravitz has given up trying to explain to him, or the rest of the IPRE for that matter, what personal space means. He never minds it as much as he probably should._
> 
>  

“I'm sorry,” Kravitz says, the words sitting awkward and inadequate on his tongue. “I know losing Magnus is hard.”

 

“What the fuck would you know about it?” Taako snarls, sharp like splintered ice. He thaws almost immediately, says “Sorry” in the smallest voice Kravitz has ever heard from him.

 

Kravitz shouldn't know anything about it. Grief is not for the dead. He thinks of leaving Magnus at the end of the path leading up to Julia’s house, of the awestruck look on his face, and of how we won't see that face in this plane ever again.

 

> _“You gotta watch him, you know?” Magnus tells him quietly as they wait in the wings for their signal to step up to the altar. In a few minutes, Taako will walk down the aisle to all the fanfare he deserves, and at the end of it will be Kravitz, no doubt smiling wide enough to startle a small child. He already can't stop smiling now._
> 
>  
> 
> _A few minutes after that, they'll be married. He never expected to want something like this, to bind himself to anyone other than his Queen. But in this moment, it's the single greatest thing he could ever hope for._

 

Kravitz lays down next to Taako, and immediately Taako curls into him, burying his face into Kravitz's neck and holding on tight.

 

“I'm sorry,” Taako says again, breaking across the last syllable.

 

Kravitz closes his eyes and draws Taako in closer. His shallow breaths, his beating heart, the heat of his skin - every thriving inch of Taako is a reassurance.

 

> _“Because he forgets, right,” Magnus continues, “that people care about him. Even though he knows better. So you gotta watch him.” Magnus looks more serious than Kravitz has ever seen him. “You gotta make sure he knows.”_
> 
>  
> 
> _“I know,” Kravitz says. “I will. I do.”_
> 
>  
> 
> _Magnus breaks into a grin, then. “Hey, you're sayin’ that to the wrong person, buddy.” He tugs Kravitz into a bear hug, and Kravitz relishes in the warmth - there's nothing quite like a hug from Magnus. He pulls away as their music cue begins and claps Kravitz on the shoulder instead. “We were already brothers, yeah? This is just making it official.”_

 

“I know, love. I'm not going anywhere.”

 

He runs a hand through Taako's hair and tells him about Julia's house - how the materials it’s made of are actually a sort of illusion, since things like wood and stone don’t technically exist in the Astral Plane even though they feel solid, and how she's been building it for years, even though “years” are subjective there and time passes very differently, so really it would be more accurate to say that she built it in increments of existence measured in comparison to the Prime Material Plane - until finally Taako laughs wetly and calls him a nerd.

 

Taako sighs. “It's not fair.”

 

“That his life was so short, or that yours is so long?”

 

“The first one,” Taako says, and then, with a snort, “Both, I guess.”

 

“You're not alone, Taako. You never will be, truly.”

 

Grief, Kravitz thinks, is not for him. But as he coaxes Taako back out to join their family, there's a weight in his chest that wasn't there before.

 

~~~

 

Lucretia's funeral is an extravagant affair - the Bureau of Benevolence makes sure of it. It's a celebration of her accomplishments, of all the work she did to make this plane better after the Hunger was defeated.

 

> _“So you're Kravitz,” says a voice behind him. He looks over his shoulder to find Lucretia standing in the doorway of their kitchen. Lup had dragged Taako out of the room a few minutes ago for “important twin business,” whatever that means, leaving Kravitz reluctantly in charge of making sure their dinner doesn't burn. “It's nice to finally meet you.”_

 

Taako spends the whole day before it cooking - casseroles and pastas and salads, pastries and cakes, even little finger sandwiches.

 

“I think they’re having it catered,” Kravitz says at one point, watching Taako work from the relative safety of the kitchen table. The surface of it is covered in wrapped dishes, all of them circled with stasis spells.

 

Taako scoffs, as if the very idea of catering is ridiculous, but doesn’t respond, too focused on his pots and pans.

 

> _“Likewise,” Kravitz manages, doing a marginally good impression of someone who isn’t currently panicking, he thinks. Lucretia doesn’t seem convinced._
> 
>  
> 
> _“You’re on burn duty?” she asks, a smile clear in her voice._
> 
>  
> 
> _“Burn duty?”_
> 
>  
> 
> _Lucretia moves up beside him, peeking into the pot he’s stirring. “Yes. That’s what he always called it, whenever he had to leave in the middle of cooking for some reason. ‘Barold, you’re on burn duty!’” Her impression of Taako is just accurate enough to be hilarious, and he laughs._
> 
>  
> 
> _“I suppose I am.”_
> 
>  
> 
> _She nods, and then pulls a wand out of a sheath she keeps strapped to her forearm. “Let me show you a trick,” she says, and then suddenly the wooden spoon he was using is moving of its own accord, stirring the sauce in slow, perfect circles. At Kravitz’s questioning look, she smiles. “I was on burn duty a lot. Everyone else would usually get too distracted.”_

 

It seems like the whole world is in attendance at the reception, including a wizened Artemis Sterling and his retinue, but Taako pays little mind to any of them. The crowd parts for him as he storms into the Bureau’s ballroom. The caterers are just starting to set up at a long table in the back of the room. It’s lucky, Kravitz supposes, that they didn’t get very far, because Taako kicks them out with hardly a backwards glance, ignoring the sputtering of the reception’s organizer.

 

With a flick of his Krebstar, a secret chest expands into full size on the table, and he opens it to reveal all of his hard work from yesterday. Taako doesn’t let anyone help him, not even Lup; he lays it all out on the table himself, arranging it as he sees fit, until he finally steps back to survey the whole thing critically.

 

Satisfied, he calls out, “Grub’s up! Don’t be shy, folks, these are TaakoTM brand original dishes!”

 

> _Lucretia is a solid, warm presence at his side, making sure nothing goes awry with dinner - Taako’s cooking for a lot of people, after all, and ruining it would be nothing short of a disaster. Something about the way she carries herself, her steadfastness, even now when it’s only the two of them, makes Kravitz understand her more than he’s ever been able to. It’s easy to see how people would follow this woman; how they would die for her, and give up their stories to the voidfish in the process._
> 
>  
> 
> _And yet, there’s a hint of girlishness about her still, even after everything. An earnestness in the way she smiles, and in the uncertain way she keeps checking the door, as if she expects Taako to show up and kick her out of their house at any moment, despite inviting her here himself._
> 
>  
> 
> _“It was… nice,” she adds, her eyes distant. “I think he only asked me to get me to stop writing about every little thing he was doing - it annoyed him, at first. But I didn’t mind helping.”_
> 
>  
> 
> _“Wrong!” says another voice behind him, and this one Kravitz recognizes instantly. Taako saunters back over to the stove, hip-checking them both out of his way. He squints at the magically-stirring pots, then turns to Lucretia. Her eyes go just the slightest bit wider; Kravitz thinks it might be the first time they’ve actually made eye contact since the Day. “I did it because you were a hopeless nerd who wouldn’t put her notebooks down long enough to actually talk to the rest of us.”_

 

His job done, Taako slips back through the crowd to where Kravitz is waiting for him by the entrance. His eyes look a little bit red. Kravitz doesn’t point it out.

 

“That should keep ‘em busy,” Taako says. “Now it won’t be a total gloom fest in here.”

 

Kravitz hums in acknowledgement.

 

> _Lucretia looks very close to tears as she says, “Thank you, Taako.” Kravitz doesn’t think she’s only referring to the hundred years of burn duty._
> 
>  
> 
> _“Yeah, sure, whatever.”_

 

“She would be honored.”

 

“Yeah, sure, whatever.” Taako tucks in against his side as Kravitz wraps an arm around him. He adds, quietly, “Yeah. She would.”

 

~~~

 

On the day Angus dies, Taako disappears.

 

Kravitz doesn’t look for him.

 

> _Angus McDonald is four-foot-nothing and carries his wand on a lanyard around his neck, but Kravitz can’t help but feel the slightest bit intimidated when the boy detective marches up to him the day after the Hunger is defeated. He didn’t know human children could look so very serious._
> 
>  
> 
> _“Hello, sir. I’m Angus McDonald,” Angus says politely. His voice is shaking, but he stands up straighter to make up for it. The speech he makes trips off his tongue, like he memorized it beforehand. “I know that you’re Taako’s boyfriend, Death, and that I’m just a little boy, but Taako is one of my very best friends, so if you--if you ever hurt him, I’ll use the highest level spell I know on you!”_
> 
>  
> 
> _Kravitz bites his lip around a laugh. The thing is, he’s entirely certain Angus would do it, and it would be a shame to discourage him._
> 
>  
> 
> _“It’s nice to meet you, Angus, and I promise you that I have no intention of hurting Taako whatsoever.” He puts a hand over his heart, as if making a vow to this small child. “But I’m not Death. My name is Kravitz, and I’m a bounty hunter for the Raven Queen.”_
> 
>  
> 
> _Angus seems to consider this for a moment. Then his face lights up._
> 
>  
> 
> _“So you’re like a detective too!”_

 

The first tenet of the Raven Queen is this: Hold no pity for those who suffer and die, for death is the natural end of life.

 

Kravitz has never questioned this idea. It’s the kind of thing that has always made sense to him. Life ends. The soul finds peace in the Astral Plane. And the only people who should fear death are those who would attempt to prolong life unnaturally.

 

He knows that Angus lived a full and happy life - that his brilliance and accomplishments left a mark on the Prime Material Plane that will remain there for centuries to come. He knows that the Soul Sea is the safest possible place for Angus’s soul to be. He knows that Angus will never suffer again, that the struggles of mortal life are no longer his concern.

 

But Kravitz is paralyzed.

 

> _Angus McDonald is twelve years old, and the train that’s puffing out smoke behind him, ready to depart in moments, will take him to his second year at Lucas Miller’s Academy of Arcane Sciences. Only his second year, and he’s already a teaching assistant._
> 
>  
> 
> _There’s a swelling in the region of Kravitz’s heart that he thinks might be pride._
> 
>  
> 
> _“Last chance, pumpkin!” Taako says, pushing Angus’s cap down over his eyes. Angus shoves it back up out of the way, grinning. “You sure you don’t want to come to my school instead? You know, the one that’s superior in every way?”_
> 
>  
> 
> _“I’m still waiting on that job offer!” Angus says, with a level of sass that he could only have picked up from Lup. Taako chuckles._
> 
>  
> 
> _“Fair, that’s fair.” The train whistles loudly, causing Angus to jump. “Better hurry! Don’t want to miss any of those train mysteries that are bound to crop up.”_
> 
>  
> 
> _Angus laughs and hugs Taako around the middle. Before Kravitz has time to process it, Angus is launching himself at Kravitz next, squeezing his arms around him and pressing his face into his chest - when did Angus get taller? - in a frenzied hug. He’s buzzing with infectious, boyish excitement, and the warmth he leaves behind refuses to fade, long after the train has chugged away._

 

It’s Taako who finds him, eventually. Not that it’s a particularly hard thing to do. Kravitz hasn’t moved from this armchair since he got back from escorting Angus to the Astral Plane that morning.

 

Their guest room hasn’t been Angus’s room in decades, but Kravitz can’t help thinking of it that way, especially today.

 

Taako drops unceremoniously into his lap and Kravitz moves on autopilot, wrapping his arms loosely around his husband. They don’t speak for what feels like hours; they just hold each other.

 

Finally, Kravitz says hoarsely, “This is the way things are.” Taako’s head snaps up, anger flaring lightning-quick in his eyes. “The way things are is shit.”

 

Taako stares at him, the heat fading from him just as quickly as it appeared. He’s wearing his glamour today, Kravitz notes distantly. He normally lets it fade when he’s at home, but Kravitz isn’t surprised that he didn’t.

 

“Don’t let RQ hear you say that.”

 

Kravitz’s lips twitch, a flicker of bitterness. “The Raven Queen hears all. But I don’t think she will fault me for this.”

 

> _Angus McDonald is taller than him, and he is twenty-seven years old, and he is standing over the crib of his newborn daughter. Kravitz is supposed to be telling him to come downstairs for dinner - Taako and Lup have prepared a veritable feast for the new parents, and the food will probably last them for days - but instead he just watches from the doorway as Angus tucks her in. Angus lingers, reluctant to leave her._
> 
>  
> 
> _The mobile over her head is a disjointed collection of shapes - a purple jellyfish, a silver ship, a clear crystal moon, a holy book, a yellow duck, a smiling ball of fire, a pair of glasses (real; Barry had to get a new pair made), a measuring spoon, and a cartoonish black scythe. It spins lazily, playing a quiet, calming tune._
> 
>  
> 
> _Kravitz goes to stand next to him, and Angus smiles and throws an arm around his shoulders. Together, they watch her sleep for a few moments._
> 
>  
> 
> _“Is she--” Angus whispers eventually, “Am I--she’s going to outlive me, right? I’m not going to leave her alone?” The whole time he speaks, he doesn’t look away from her. “You probably--I guess you can’t answer that, can you?”_
> 
>  
> 
> _“You have nothing to worry about,” Kravitz says. It’s the only answer he can give._

 

Hold no pity for those who suffer and die, he thinks.

 

It should have an addendum: Reserve your pity for the living, and those left behind.

 

> _“Thanks, Krav,” Angus says, pulling him into a proper hug. “For everything.”_
> 
>  
> 
> _Angus McDonald is bright, and warm, and spilling over with love and light._

 

~~~

 

Davenport goes out sailing one day, promising to be back in a month or so. He never returns.

 

After Kravitz discovers that he checked in at the Astral Plane, they go out and find his ship. It was caught in a storm in the Trackless Sea - there are pieces of the wreckage washed up on the shores of the nearby islands. The worst storm in history, the locals call it. Davenport wasn’t the only one who lost his life that day.

 

> _“You said there’s some kinda ocean in the Astral Plane, right?”_
> 
>  
> 
> _Kravitz glances up from his cards, wondering if this is one of Davenport’s attempts to distract him from their game. He’s full of tricks like that - Kravitz has gotten better at reading them, over the years._
> 
>  
> 
> _“The Soul Sea, yes. Not the kind of sea you can sail in, I’m afraid.”_
> 
>  
> 
> _Davenport nods sadly. He tosses a stack of chips into the center of the table. “Raise. Had a feeling. S’pose I gotta get it all out of my system while I’m alive then, huh?”_
> 
>  
> 
> _“That’s the general idea of living, I believe.” Kravitz squints at his cards and counts his remaining chips mournfully. After a moment of consideration, he tosses a few into the pot. “Call.”_
> 
>  
> 
> _Davenport flips the final card - the Jack of Spades. His face doesn’t change. Kravitz frowns. Merle’s voice rings out from the kitchen, calling them in for lunch, quickly followed by the sound of a spatula hitting the wall and Lup shouting, “You didn’t help at all, lazy!”_

 

They don’t bother searching for his remains - a burial at sea is what Davenport would have wanted anyway.

 

“He used to say a captain should always go down with his ship, if that’s the way it’s gotta be,” Merle says, sniffling.

 

> _“Guess you’ve got more of an appreciation for life than the rest of us, huh?” Davenport places his bet, looking at Kravitz expectantly. It’s clear that he thinks he’s won this round. “What with your job and all.”_
> 
>  
> 
> _“I suppose I do,” Kravitz says, adding all but his last two chips. “I guess I never thought of it that way. Call.”_
> 
>  
> 
> _Davenport flips his cards over, revealing a four of a kind, all Jacks. Finally, Kravitz breaks character, a wide smile spreading across his face. He shows off his straight flush, and Davenport groans. He helps push the pile of chips in Kravitz’s direction with a wry grin._
> 
>  

Lups nods. Barry says, “See ya soon, Cap’nport.” Taako salutes the horizon - the only time he’s ever done it without mockery.

 

Kravitz tries to remind himself that accidents are accidents, and death is death. The sentiment feels hollow.

 

> _As Kravitz stacks his winnings, Davenport jokes, “Guess there’s no beating Death, huh?”_

 

~~~

 

Merle’s memorial is built on a cliff overlooking Bottlenose Cove, with a perfect view of the beach and the ocean beyond it. The residents, past and present, of the thriving community come in droves to pay their respects to the man who rebuilt their town.

 

> _When Kravitz finally meets Merle officially, Merle greets him with a bark of laughter and a truly horrible imitation of his work accent. “Merle fuckin’ Highchurch,” he says, “at your service, death boy.” And then he shakes Kravitz’s hand with his soul wood one and offers him a drink._

 

Flowers spring up in startling abundance around the stone base of the memorial, and a soul wood tree grows up next to it in a process that should take years but instead takes only days.

 

Kravitz lays a hand on the tree, and it feels warm to the touch.

 

> _“You know,” Merle says, handing him a flask as they sit next to each other on the beach, watching Mavis and Mookie play with Angus out in the water. “You’re pretty good at this whole livin’ thing, for a dead guy.”_
> 
>  
> 
> _Kravitz raises an eyebrow at him. “Thanks, I think?”_
> 
>  
> 
> _“It’s a compliment, sure.” Merle smiles as Mookie tackles Angus into the water. Angus resurfaces a few seconds later, shaking water out of his hair and looking distinctly put out. “Kinda sucks for you, though.”_

 

They spend the evening at Chesney’s just reminiscing, the four of them, sharing drinks with Merle’s large extended family and the kids who took his adventuring classes, now grown. More than anyone, Merle knew how to live the fullest kind of life, and it shows in all the people he left behind.

 

He taught whole generations of young adventurers to choose joy, and they return the favor by finding joy in their memories of him.

 

> _“How so?”_
> 
>  
> 
> _“Well, means you’re gonna be the last one left, ain’tcha?” There’s a shriek of laughter as Mavis tries to help Angus up, only to be slammed into from behind by Mookie. “Me ‘n Taako, we’ll be around a good long while. But, ya know, life and death and all that mumbo jumbo.”_
> 
>  
> 
> _Kravitz takes a long swig of whatever’s in Merle’s flask and watches the children play._

 

The celebration goes until dawn. As the sun breaks over the horizon the entire bar raises a toast, and a hundred voices say, “To Merle.” Kravitz drains his glass. He’s not the only one.

 

> _“I wouldn’t change a thing,” Kravitz says finally, handing back the flask._
> 
>  
> 
> _Merle nods. “Didn’t think so.”_

 

~~~

 

On the eve of the final day of their debt to the Raven Queen, Barry and Lup tell Taako that they’re retiring.

 

Taako frowns, the fine lines of age around his eyes creasing, but he doesn’t seem surprised. And if he’s being honest, Kravitz isn’t either. They’ve done more good in service of his Queen than even those who come to her willingly, regardless of their lichdom.

 

> _“Pass the coriander, Skeletor!”_
> 
>  
> 
> _Lup holds out a demanding hand, the other stirring a pot. Kravitz pauses in his chopping to search the spice cabinet, which is a feat in itself, since Taako collects spices the same way some people collect stamps. He finally finds it after a minute of looking and hands it to her._
> 
>  
> 
> _It’s his and Taako’s 300th anniversary, and Lup’s helping him make it as special as possible._
> 
>  
> 
> _They work in an easy tandem, years of fighting alongside each other translating into cooking side-by-side without bumping elbows. Lup nudges him anyway, sometimes, just to make him scoff._
> 
>  
> 
> _“You were right to call me,” she says, feigning distress at the sight of his cutting board. “Three hundred years, and you still can’t get a fine dice down? Shameful.”_
> 
>  
> 
> _“I’m used to much bigger knives,” he deadpans. Her bright laughter fills the kitchen, and Kravitz smiles._

 

“So what does ‘retiring’ mean, exactly?” Taako asks, looking between the couple sitting across the kitchen table and Kravitz, who sits next to him.

 

Neither of them answer. Kravitz sighs.

 

“It means that their lich powers will be taken from them, and what’s--what’s left of their souls will go to the Soul Sea.”

 

“What’s _left?”_ Taako glares at him, and then at Barry and Lup.

 

Barry shrugs. “It’s never been done before, technically, separating a lich’s magic from their soul. But the Raven Queen assured us it would be possible.”

 

“There just might be some… rough edges,” Lup adds. “No big deal.”

 

“No big--” Taako’s fuming, his fists clenched where they rest on the table in front of him. “What the _fuck.”_

 

“Taako, buddy… this is it,” Barry says. He glances at Lup, a little smile playing around his lips at the sight of his wife. “We’re--we’re tired, you know? And it was either this or wait for the heat death of the universe, and honestly, I don’t think either of us have that much patience.”

 

> _It’s two in the morning on Candlenights, and Barry Bluejeans is sitting on Kravitz’s couch long after everyone else has gone to bed._
> 
>  
> 
> _“Alright?” Kravitz asks around a yawn, pausing on his way to the kitchen._
> 
>  
> 
> _Barry looks up from his book - one of his Candlenights gifts, Kravitz thinks - and smiles. “Fine! Just couldn’t sleep. Too much excitement, I guess.”_
> 
>  
> 
> _“Yeah,” Kravitz says, thinking of the nightmare that woke him up. “I know the feeling.”_
> 
>  
> 
> _Kravitz fills two glasses of water instead of one and takes them back to the living room, handing one to Barry as he sits down on the couch next to him. Barry thanks him and scoots closer until they’re pressed together from head to toe, sliding the book over slightly so that Kravitz can read too, if he wants._
> 
>  
> 
> _He doesn’t pay much attention to the words, at first. Barry is warm and solid at his side, a comforting presence that drains away the darkness of Kravitz’s dreams like they never happened._
> 
>  
> 
> _Kravitz never expected to have something so trite as a best friend. But if anyone ever asked, the first name out of his mouth would be Barry’s._
> 
>  
> 
> _Smiling, he focuses on the text in front of him. He rolls his eyes._
> 
>  
> 
> _“Barry, this is a book about necromancy.”_
> 
>  
> 
> _“Sorry, boss.”_

 

When it’s all said and done, when all the goodbyes have been exchanged, Barry and Lup burst from their bodies for the last time and allow Kravitz to escort them to the Astral Plane. Their spectral forms are holding hands as he takes them to the Raven Queen, who thanks them sincerely for their years of service, and tells them that they have more than earned their share of peace.

 

With a word, she unravels them. Kravitz watches, because he cannot look away. By the time she is done, all that remains is a pair of glowing white orbs, casting light across the otherwise dim room.

 

Kravitz doesn’t need to lead them to the Soul Sea - they know perfectly well where it is - but he does it anyway, if only just to bask in their warmth for a few minutes longer. They hover in front of him for a moment, flaring brighter than before as they whirl in a slow, playful circuit around his head.

 

> _“We’re not gonna give you the shovel talk,” Lup says, smirking as she adjusts Kravitz’s tie. He’d been pacing in his dressing room before they arrived, reading over his vows anxiously to make sure they were perfect._
> 
>  
> 
> _Barry laughs. “Yeah, I think Angus already did that, didn’t he?”_
> 
>  
> 
> _“He did a very good job,” Kravitz says, smiling at the memory._
> 
>  
> 
> _“But, you know.” Lup looks him in the eye, attempting a glare that is somewhat ruined by the glittering rhinestones that form a small pattern at the corners of each of her eyes. “Just keep making my brother happy, alright?”_
> 
>  
> 
> _Agreeing with her is the easiest promise Kravitz has ever made._
> 
>  
> 
> _They pull him into a hug simultaneously, laughing at the way he fumbles his note cards and tries to figure out where to put his hands._
> 
>  
> 
> _“Welcome to the family, bud,” Barry says._

 

And then, as one, they dive into the Sea.

 

~~~

 

Taako dies, and with him goes Kravitz’s heart.

 

He is no stranger to grief, by now, but nothing prepares him for the emptiness that settles over him, heavier than the feathered mantle he wears every day. Kravitz acts on muscle memory, planning events with a detachment that startles even himself. He’s done it all before - funeral, reception, memorial - over and over, for everyone he has ever known.

 

For Taako, he turns it into a party. His husband hated anything remotely dreary.

 

But he does not attend. Instead he returns to their house, one last time. It’s dark, and too quiet, and filled with all the ghostly echoes of the people he once knew. All the people who walked these floors and left their marks on him, who were his friends and his family as much as they were Taako’s.

 

The dead do not grieve, but Kravitz does. It clogs his throat and makes him choke on air he doesn't need, filling up his mortal form until the grief is all he has left.

 

His family is waiting for him in the Astral Plane, in the Soul Sea; all those warm, bright spots that gave him a life worth living again have all been snuffed out, one by one, to languish in their eternal rest. That’s just how it is, how his Queen commands it. There’s nothing left on this plane for him.

 

In the moments before he tears open a rift back to his Queen, to the only home he has left, Kravitz knows two things: He is cold. And he is alone.

**Author's Note:**

> Come chat with me about TAZ on [tumblr](http://malevolentmango.tumblr.com)!

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Life Cycles](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13591089) by [Puffls](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Puffls/pseuds/Puffls)




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